Return of the WAZ: Encore Edition for our top two black racists of 2023/2024 in progress
Introduction
Setting: Southeast Alaska: The Bunker: Early Evening:
Cast: Our usual crew of old white men: *
Roy Sequoia: Deisel Mechanic: Often sees what’s right in front of him
Sven Johansson: Commercial Fisherman–highliner
Tony Columbo: Owner Tony’s Taku Tuscany Resturant
Cosmo: Marijuana grower, rocket mass stove builder
Sonny Stokes: Texas redneck, disturbed veteran, ballroom dance instructor
Jake Paresky: Public school teacher (retired)
Tommy Obrien: Irish wilderness trekker
Ira Lane: One-man sawmill owner, timber framer
Al Purdy: Fire Chief back in the day, arm chair historian
Gene: Merchant Seaman: Bosn’ Alaska Marine Highway
Uncle Tim: Conflicted Ivy League Liberal
Scene 1:
“How do you sell a racist war in America? Same way you sell every racist thing in America. Put dancing black people up on stage. How could it be racist if black people are selling it?”
Alert woodshed cognoscenti will recognize the speaker as Gene-Gene the Word Machine. Great red mustache bristling, looking for an argument, you might think he was trying to bait Uncle Tim, as usual. He wasn’t, and he wasn’t done, either.
“Who sells Americans $400 sneakers made by slaves in Asia? Black people! Who sells toxic junk food to black people? Black people! Who sells menthol cigarettes that killed a hundred-fifty thousand black people to black people? Black people! And who sells racist goddamn wars in the Middle East that have killed millions of brown people? Black people!” Who’s selling the Godamn Gaza GENOCIDE right now? Black people! Who….”
Who knows how long he’d have gone on, except the bunker door opened. It was Tony Columbo who’d aged ten years over the past six months.
“Any word from Moaiad?”
Tony shook his head. “Not for two weeks. They got no bandwidth. They’re only able to connect at night. Even then….even then….whole place bombed to hell. His family’s house in Khan Younis is gone. Half his family’s missing. He might be dead. I don’t know. Goddam Israelis blew up his University, all of it, with all his records. They don’t want those people to have anything. He was set to graduate next year. All that work.The hospital where he was going to do his residency is gone too, blown to hell. Israel brought in bulldozers and bulldozed bodies into the hospital grounds like the bastards could hide them.”
“Where’s he now?”
“Starving with what’s left of his family in Rafah, if they made it.” Tony said. “Twenty-five square miles with a million and a half people scrounging for food and water. Kid’s a genius, could have gone anywhere, could have stayed with Sophie and me after his exchange year was up. No. He wanted to go back to Gaza and be a doctor…What were you talking about when I came in?”
“Tools.” Roy told him. “We’d pretty much run through the white ones. Gene was talking about some of the black ones.”
“I got a new bartender at the restaruant,” Tony said. “I told her when she interviewed that when a war monger kicks the bucket we all show up for a Bloody Mary. She said she’d take the job if she could have one, too–top shelf Haines vodka, that one with the octopus on the bottle. She’ll pour for Biden, Trump, Bush, Clinton (both of ’em), Pelosi, Bolton, Abrams, Blinkin, Jake Sullivan, John Kirby, Matt Miller…she wants overtime and a double for Netanyahu or Biden–and she wants to invite her friends. Her name’s Amanda. She starts Monday.” Tony took out his pocket notebook and a pen. “You got some black war mongers? Let’s hear them. I’ll tell her when she’s on deck.”
“Lloyd Austin’s my pick,” Sonny said. “Our black Secretary of War that’s been towel snappin’ with the weapons makers. Whut you call your conflict of interest.”
“General Brown’s black, too.” Gene said. “Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. Highest ranking military man in America. He’s a four star. Might end up the first five star black general if he doesn’t smoke a turd like Powell and lie to the UN about Arabs with nuclear weapons.”
Sven raised his hand, “Yah, how ’bout that black dame at the UN. Raised her hand at the Security Council to vote down a cease-fire? Thousands of dead Palestinian kids’ blood on that hand.”
“Linda Thomas-Greenfeld,” Jake Paresky said. “and Robert Wood, America’s other UN ambassador for Israel. Remarkably, he just happens to be black, too. How about that? Raised his hand to vote down a cease-fire like Thomas-Greenfeld a few weeks later. Blood up to his elbows.”
Tony wrote that in his pocket notebook. “Anybody else?”
“Don’t forget Condoleezza Rice.” Tommy O’Brien said. “A woman of color, not the most well known when she somehow become National Security Advisor, then Secretary of State, fourth in line for the Presidency. After Hamas was democratically elected by a landslide, in an election overseen by international observers including Jimmy Carter, she worked with Elliot Abrams, the corrupt Fatah Palestinian party in the West Bank, neo-cons in the Bush Whitehouse, and Israel, to foment a coup against Hamas. Trained and armed a medium size-army, offered them two billion American dollars. Hamas figured it out as Israel opened the gates into Gaza for Fatah. Hamas fought them house to house, beat them like a red headed step-child, took their weapons, and came out stronger than ever. Rice also suggested the Palestinians could be moved to South America.”
“Get out!”
“Look it up.” Tommy said. “Oh, and she grew up in Denver, Colorado.”
“So?”
“Next door to a family named Netanyahu.”
“No way!”
“Baby Netanyahu’s parents. Look it up.” Tommy said.
“I think that’s Bibi, Tom.”
Tommy shook his head, “I don’t. ”
Ira cut a coin of plug tobacco which he packed just so into his pipe, “Since we’re on memory lane, you missed Death Drone Obama. He was President in 2014 when Israel demolished Gaza again with Protective Edge. See the black man come to the White House door and white-wash that rolling genocide. “Israel has a right to defend itself.” He never mentioned that he spent his watch funding, arming, and protecting Israel while they killed Gaza Palestinians, where half the population is children and 98 percent of the drinking water is contaminated. He enabled it. Not to mention he demolished Libya–which Israel was scared of. President Kadaffi dead–destroyed their water supply–a desert country’s water supply, wrecked it all. Thanks to him and Hillary Clinton, Libya became the human trafficking hell-hole it is today. It’s anarchy. Obama said it was his biggest mistake in office. Mistake! he says. War Crime, more like. That’s his legacy.”
“What about all the black congress people and senators enabling Israel?”
“The House Negros?” Gene asked.
“You mean like: Hakeem Jeffries, Kweisi Mfume, Terri Sewell, Maxine Waters, Sanford Bishop, Laphronza Butler, Ralph Warnock, Tim Scott…”
“Can’t do that.” Roy shook his head, “Can’t do it. Too long a list. Not to mention, if we could afford a DEI representative they’d remind you people that we’d have to include the whole Zionist-owned herd. Throw in all the white ones and we’d all be on a vodka runner for months, laying in the gutter, packed off to Gitmo for rehab. Got to say though, it’s great to watch the black tools on ‘The Hill’ trying to moon-walk it back since South Africa filed the apartheid case against Israel at the UN, and the African Methodist Episcopalian Bishops called for defunding Israel (3 million people in that church). Far as who to believe, if it’s between South Africa and Corey Booker, I’m going to have to go with the Zulu.”
Al Purdy pointed out that since we had Kirby, Sullivan, and Miller, “We should add Karine Jean-Pierre.”
“Inclusive’s big these days, ” he said. “and she hits all the buttons: female, LGBT, black…”
Tony wrote down Karine with a shrug. “She’s young, though. She’ll outlive all of us.”
“Hope so.” Roy said, “Hope they all live long enough to rue the day they sold their souls, and their country, down the river for thirty New Israeli shekels.”
Tony folded his notebook, “I hope Moaiad lives long enough to pass his residency.”
Uncle Tim raised his hand, “There are two more names I’d like to add. I want to bring back the WAZ…”
To be continued…
*Note to readers: Don’t bother looking for the Woodshed Autonomous Zone crew on social media, they exist only in my head. DC
